Thursday, September 5, 2013

Pink Hi-Top Adventures

The Far Side®, by Gary Larson

For those of you new to this blog, I thought I'd give you a little background. Pink Hi-Top Adventures is my first blog ever! I started it back in January 2013 as a chronicle of my ongoing recovery from depression, anxiety, and alcoholism. 

Almost eight years ago, I entered treatment for alcohol addiction. At the time, I thought it would resolve whatever it was inside that was stopping me from moving forward in life; however, it only drained the pool and uncovered the disease within.

Though I had been anxious and depressed but functioning for years, I finally imploded a year ago. I spent about three weeks in bed - unable to work, unable to shower, unable to function. My thoughts were turning darker too. I fantasized about death and hurting myself; and for the first time ever, it felt comforting and logical.

When I shared this with my {wonderful!} husband, he reached out to my therapist; and I was admitted to a partial hospitalization treatment program {PHP}. There I was diagnosed with major depression, dysthymia {long-term, low-grade depression}, and generalized anxiety disorder. Fortunately, I was treated by wonderful doctors and therapists; and, though I've experienced periodic set-backs along the way, I've been doing better overall since.

This blog is a chronicle of my continuous recovery and progress toward achieving my goals - one of which is graduating from college with a psychology degree. {I've been in college - on and off - since September 1984; and graduating would be quite an achievement indeed!} I also hope to inspire and inform with personal stories, resources, and a little humor!

The blog title is inspired by my favorite pair of Converse Chuck Taylor’s that I wore when I last felt my happiest and freest. 

And finally, Pink Hi-Top Adventures is a place for you too. Please feel free to comment and discuss - either in the comments section of this blog, or on the blog's Facebook page!

Thanks for reading!


Here is an overview of some of my favorite posts from the past six months:


Thoughts from my addiction (2/27/13)
Alcoholic or problem drinker? (3/14/13)
How do you help and addict (6/19/13)
Take me out to the ballgame! (8/12/13)


Obstacles (5/22/13)
Social Anxiety (5/29/13)


Notes from the Vortex (2/11/13)
Life (3/7/13)
Lifeline (3/8/13)
Grey veil...again?! (3/16/13)
Overcoming...inertia! (3/19/13)
Can't sleep (4/23/13)
Do the next right thing - part II (4/25/13)
The daily struggle (6/6/13)
Taking down the wall (6/7/13)
Contained emotions (6/13/13)


"Nervous breakdown" (3/6/13)
Depression is not a character defect (3/27/13)


Never underestimate your own power! (2/26/13)
Acceptance (3/1/13)
Recovery step #2: sleep, damn it! (3/5/13)
Rebirth (3/30/13)
Wellness part I: physical (4/26/13)
Change is possible part II (6/27/13)
Seven steps to mental health (8/2/13)
Take me out to the ballgame! (8/12/13)
Climbing back up (8/18/13)

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The Cycling Vortex

The Vortex isn’t always my bed / bedroom. It apparently takes on different forms. It’s like a worm hole in space that can take one to an alternate time / dimension.  It’s a place where reality bends on itself and nothing normal makes sense anymore.

The Vortex seizes my mind and body and I am rendered inept, and all I want to do is condense myself into a single point like a black hole.

I am in the Vortex again, frickin’ again!

I am also beginning to wonder if lately it’s a little cyclical, i.e., monthly. I seem to be in the Vortex, or fighting to avoid its gravity, at about the same time each lunar month (29.5 days).

I don’t think even Eleanor Roosevelt could get me out of it right now.

P.S. – Please don’t worry about me Greg and Joan. I have enough recovery in me to know that this too shall pass.

You know what I just realized, if you haven't been following my blog and are just now reading it, the above probably makes absolutely NO sense! The Vortex is my nickname for a state of depression. (See the link in the blog's second word.) For the reference to Eleanor Roosevelt, see a link in her name. 

Tuesday, September 3, 2013


How quickly things fall apart!

Balance is the hardest thing for me to achieve. I know it can never be perfect, but my addictive tendencies do get the best of me. When I start working in one area of my life, it always seems to be to the detriment of other areas. I pour myself into school work, and the house falls apart. I focus on relationships, and school falls apart. I spend too much time on the internet, and it all falls apart!

My goal this week is to rein things in and get closer to achieving true balance.

On another note, I haven't forgotten the Eleanor Roosevelt quote. Today's thing that I am going to do that scares me: go to class. Don't know why, but I have a little anxiety about going to Group Dynamics this afternoon. 

What is the one thing you are going to do today that scares you?