Saturday, November 16, 2013

The Fog

I did not do well this week. In fact, it was the worst week for depression in a long while. Could not get off the couch (which became my bed) all week. 

I don't know whether it was a function of the change in medication, hormones, or a combination of factors, but it sucked. Laying there, I knew I had a million things to do, and I just couldn't do any of them. It was like wearing an invisible body suit made of lead. And the more I couldn't do, the more I'd beat myself up about it and the worse I'd feel.

With a couple of exceptions, I did try to stick to the new sleep habits my doctor taught me; but it didn't seem to help.

Then, this morning I woke up and the fog seems to have lifted. (Thus, I'm blogging.) I  hope I stay this way!

Monday, November 11, 2013

Adjusting Course

I was still struggling last week to keep out of the gravity of the Vortex...thus the lack of blogging. It finally got to a point where I had to see my therapist and psychiatrist. I simply could not un-rut myself.

Even though I am definitely better than I was a little over a year ago, my therapist says my thinking is obsessive and I over-analyze myself and my environment.

I met with my psychiatrist too, and he tweaked my meds. He reminded me about the importance of taking medication at the same time everyday, which I had not been doing. He also reminded me about the importance of proper sleep hygiene - turning off the TV, computer, and any glowing monitors/screens about one hour before bed-time, and settling down into quiet time before getting a full-night's sleep (8 hours).

Since, I met with him on Friday, I have been doing this; and dare I say, I am feeling a little better already. I wasn't tired and wiped out when I woke up this morning. I felt...refreshed!

I may have been blogging about this topic for almost a year now, but I don't think I had fully bought into the notion that I have a disease. My depression and anxiety is a psychological and physical disease that requires treatment and lifestyle modifications - much in the same way as heart disease or diabetes. I have said it over and over, but I am only now believing it. And now I'm going to make real progress in my recovery!