I am definitely in the vortex again. I feel like I'm wearing an invisible suit made of lead. I haven't been able to go to work for days now. It has taken me days to even write this. I am isolating again. I am anxious - my insides are tangled in a ball like a den of venomous snakes - biting at my psyche and making me squirm.
I hate myself again. I'm mad at myself, and I hate myself.
I haven't reached out to family about this; and no, I don't think they'll be reading this - the novelty has warn off.
I'm sorry to dump this on you, dear reader. Somewhere deep down, the real me wants this in writing for future reference...I guess that means all is not lost entirely - I must have a little hope left.
How can I get myself unstuck when I just feel like hiding? How can I turn this around when I just want to sink?!