Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Recovery Step #2: Sleep, Damn It!



Sleep that knits up the raveled sleave of care
The death of each day’s life, sore labour’s bath
Balm of hurt minds, great nature’s second course,
Chief nourisher in life’s feast.

- William Shakespeare, Macbeth


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Walking around with frog eyes, feeling like my head’s in a fishbowl, repeating myself in conversations, repeating myself...oh...and forgetting what I’m doing when mid-task: this is me without sufficient sleep.

Sleep disorders are symptomatic of depression, to be sure; but I think the number one thing you can do for yourself and your sanity is to get a good night’s sleep, damn it! For me it makes all the difference in the world – in fact, the benefit is exponential!
ME after a night of 5-hours of sleep...

Adults need between 7 – 9 hours good sleep each night. According to Dr. Timothy Morgenthaler, M.D. of the Mayo Clinic [see MayoClinic.com]: 

Although some people claim to feel rested on just a few hours of sleep at night, research shows that people who sleep so little over many nights don't perform as well on complex mental tasks as do people who get closer to seven hours of sleep at night. Additionally, studies among adults show that getting much more or less than seven hours of sleep a night is associated with a higher mortality rate.

Did you read that...don't perform as well on complex mental tasks....higher mortality rate!

Make no mistake about it, neither you nor I can get well and stay well without healthy sleep habits. But what are good sleep habits anyway?

The Mayo Clinic suggests the following 7 steps for a healthful sleep (see MayoClinic.com):

1.  Stick to a sleep schedule: Even on weekends and, yes, holidays; hard to do, but I'll give it a try.  

2. Pay attention to what you eat and drink: Don’t eat too close to bedtime, don’t go to bed hungry either; and watch the nicotine, caffeine, or alcohol intake. Frankly, in my opinion, regarding the nicotine and alcohol…don’t even!! just DON’T EVEN!!! {More on that in a future post.}
ME after a night of 7.5 hours sleep :)

3. Create a bedtime ritual: Create a soothing, quiet ritual to help you wind down - take a warm bath, read, meditate, or say your prayers. It works great for children, and works well for you and me too!

4. Get comfortable: Having a comfy bed with snuggly comforter, pillows, and PJs encourage good sleep {no problem for me here!}

5. Limit daytime naps: This one goes out to my husband...

6. Add physical activity to your daily routine: Preferably early in the day, so you are not too energized at bedtime.

7. Manage stress: Yes, I know, I know – easier said than done, but a crucial part of healthy sleep.

And of course, as the Mayo Clinic adds, if you continue to have difficulty getting to sleep, staying asleep, or waking up in the morning, see a doctor. 

{It’s important to remind you here too: I am NOT a doctor; I am not a psychologist or licensed counselor; I am a patient just searching for (and sharing) ways to get well.}

Inspiration of the Day: 5 March 2013

Don't have time at the moment for a full blog, but wanted to share some inspiration that will be my focus for today:



Sunday, March 3, 2013

Humor before the Work Week ;)

The Far Side®, by Gary Larson





Just found this in a stack of old papers, and I had a riotous chuckle!


Enjoy!


Saturday, March 2, 2013

From Darkness to Light


Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr.


The stigmatization of mental illness (I include addiction here) has persisted in spite of its high prevalence in the general human population. Consider the following data taken from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMSHA) and the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH):

In 2011, almost 50 million American adults (20% of the U.S. population) experienced mental illness; and in 2000, SAMSHA estimated that "...4.6% of the population were dependent on or abused alcohol", and "1.0% of the population were found to be dependent on or abused both alcohol and drugs."

For far too long, mental health and addiction disorders have remained in the shadows of society - leaving those who suffer feeling even more isolated, alone, defective, and helpless than they already feel from their disease.

This blog, as I'd mentioned in previous posts, is part of my continuous pursuit of therapy and personal growth. But the main reason I choose to be so open and candid about my illness is to join others in the recently begun effort to shine light on the darkness - to help remove the stigma and extend light to those suffering alone.

I remain inspired by the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy…

Let us all together be a light and shine hope and love onto sadness, fear, and despair.

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References:





...and graph of this data for my addiction class paper:










Friday, March 1, 2013

Acceptance

I think it was Oprah that once said, forgiveness is letting go of the notion that the past can be anything other than what it is. It is not necessarily being happy or content with what happened or with what another person - or you yourself - did or said, but rather simply accepting the fact that there's nothing you can do to change the past. It is what it is.

I have experienced so many mixed emotions in recovery from depression, anxiety, and alcohol addiction: the joy of rediscovering LIFE and reconnecting with my {real} self, as well as fear of the unknown...and the feeling of loss...of being cheated...of missing out on days, months, and years.

I awoke this morning struggling with the latter - trying to accept that dysthymia, anxiety, and alcoholism are diseases of the brain and not character flaws - trying to forgive myself, the genetic cards I was dealt, and the people and circumstances that converged in my head last September in the perfect mental storm that landed me in the hospital.

But, I know...today is a new day. Today I will do my best to forgive and to accept...somehow.


Thursday, February 28, 2013

Design by Quotable Cards Inc.

Continuing on from Recovery Step #1 (see 2/26/13 post):

You will never, ever, EVER get well unless you are willing to risk. Make no mistake about it, change is scary; but you must take a leap into what feels like the unknown, and trust in a Power higher than yourself. Trust your doctors, trust those who love you, trust your God - trust that you can get better. Trust that on the other side of darkness there is light. Trust that LIFE is better than stagnation and disintegration.

Leap and your net will appear!


Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Thoughts from My Addiction


This is a poem I wrote at about 8-months sober - when I was sometimes a very angry two-year old in the body of a woman – bargaining with God and throwing a tantrum whenever I thought about a lifetime of sobriety. This homage to my “Ex” was written during such a tantrum…interesting to see, not only the addiction talking, but the depression seeking its own balm.

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i
"My Addiction", by PHT, done in group therapy
Copyright 2006
am
alone

i was born alone

            i cry alone

                        i’ll die alone

i am an alcoholic…alone

alone in a crowded meeting,
as everyone around me is brow-beating,
and rehashing the same story ten times over.

alone
in a group of my former “drinking buddies”,
as they nod and smile,
breathe a tinny word of encouragement,
and quickly change the subject.
alone when they turn to each other and whisper,
“oh, she’s just a hypochondriac…”

i used to be
alone with my green glass bottle,
but never felt alone.
my bottle never droned on and on and on
in self-deprecation, and never talked about me behind my back.

it just sat there
calmly
on the grocery store shelf,
waiting,
holding in it all the promise of a sunrise and the comfort of moonlight.

standing there in the store alone,
staring at the rows of shiny bottles perched
like sentinels guarding a deep, dark secret ,
gleaming like gemstones in a stream,
i reached for the shiniest.

standing in the kitchen alone,
i felt contentment well up inside me as i stuck the screw
into the soft, brown cork,
twisted it in
and…POP!

playful gurgling, as if from some mystic brook,
as the wine slipped out of the bottle,
and wound around the inside of my glass like a bloody serpent.

held to the light, it was a garnet sea.
held to my nose, a decent into the earth

                                                damp moss,

                                                            aging wood,

                                                                        cool stone,

                                                                                    brooding darkness
on my tongue
it was celestial!
i let the first sip linger for a moment
penetrating my darkness like a warm arrow,
slicing through my solitary world.
i gently swallowed and suddenly

                        i was no longer
                                               
alone

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…but you know, I truly was alone.

Addiction fostered isolation. The center of my universe, that to me was the sun, was really a black hole. No light escaped its reach and no social interaction got in the way of the drink. The drink came first.

Seductive, alluring…deceptive, it seeped into my skin and my psyche and made upside-down seem rightside-up.

I am grateful to be 7-years sober and do not want to ever go back that dark mirage again!