You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I don't know why I expect otherwise. I forget that less than a year ago, I wanted to end my life; how, can I possibly expect perfection in recovery.
I have been struggling to keep it together lately, but I hadn't really connected the dots until today: the difficulty with sleep; the lack self care (e.g., not showering in past five days); the rut in school accompanied by self-defeating, ruminating thoughts - I am beginning to spiral back down into the vortex.
I feel stuck again today - trapped in an invisible straight jacket. I know what I need to do to get back on track, and yet, here I sit - paralyzed by fear.
On the other hand, it's not over. This moment contains power, if I let it. All I have to do is choose the right thing...right now. What is the right thing? Log off this computer, retreat to my desk, log back on, and tackle my final assignments of the semester.
Come on, Karen, you can do it. You can do it...let's go...come on...
Crikey, this is hard...okay, do the right thing, do the right thing, do the right