I know I've written about this many times before, but it's relevant for me lately, and writing about it again is therapeutic.
|Selfie from the Vortex, just prior to hospitalization, 2012|
- you can't, or can barely get out of bed because it feels like you're wearing an invisible bodysuit of lead. (This is beyond the typical grogginess, sleeping past 7 snoozes, "I hate Mondays" kind of feeling. It is this times a thousand.
- getting into the shower feels like the start of a marathon - for a non-runner
- taking a shower feels like performing an exorcism
- you have no interest in food, or
- you do nothing but eat - especially carbs and junk (sweets, salty snacks, chocolate, soda, etc.)
- you can't sleep, or
- you sleep all the time
- you've lost interest in what used to interest you
- you watch mindless TV all the time, or
- you watch no TV at all and find yourself staring endlessly at the blank, black screen or the ceiling
- you feel like you're watching the world from the outside looking in.
- you wonder how other people can function: go to work or class everyday, cook meals, maintain a relatively tidy house, have hobbies, achieve goals...laugh...
- turn the tv off
- get out of bed
- get into the shower - exorcism or not
- get out of the the house and interact with others
- walk - if only for 15 minutes
- have a glass of water
- eat your favorite fruit
- call someone you love who'll listen without prescribing
- write about it (like this blog) or express yourself in some creative way
- go to bed so that you can get 8 hours of sleep
- wake up and repeat the above steps