CHANGE = WORK

okay, so i haven’t blogged in a while because i am very busy now, and because i have been waiting for the perfect thing to say…

…but of course, there is no perfect thing to say. life is not perfect; i am not perfect; and recovery from depression, or anything else for that matter, is anything but a perfect upward trajectory. in fact, it appears to be two steps forward, one step back.

since my first, enthusiastic post of a month ago, i have returned to work and college. this is all good, but any illusions i had of “normal” feeling good all of the time have been shattered. i have to remember what i learned in php {partial hospitalization}: the medication only gives you enough “normalcy” to enable you to do the work required to get well. and work it is!

after riding the turbo-boost of fresh starts and change at the dawn of the new year, i find myself mired down in the work part now - feet slightly stuck in the ground. negative thoughts still rattle around my head like flies in a glass jar. and i know the only way to get well is to break the pattern of negative thinking by re-framing self-defeating thoughts and achieving small victories each day...and this requires work.

what will i work on today?

about this blog

as this is my first blog…EVER…i thought i’d share just a little about me.

i am a mother, grandmother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend. i am also an alcoholic {sober 7 years}.

in august 2012, i was diagnosed with major depression. i was also diagnosed with dysthymia {long-term, low-grade depression} and anxiety disorder. in september, i checked into partial hospitalization mental health care, and was fortunate enough to have been treated by very caring and enlightened doctors. since then, i have been emerging from the grey veil of dysthymia and anxiety that shrouded my self-awareness for almost four decades. {I’m 46.}

As this new year begins, i feel more like my true self and am FINALLY progressing toward achieving my goals.

this blog is a chronicle of my continuous recovery and progress toward achieving my goals. i hope to inspire and inform those suffering from depression, anxiety, and addiction with personal stories, resources, and a little humor!

the blog title is inspired by my favorite pair of chuck taylor’s that i wore when i last felt my happiest and freest.