Thursday, June 27, 2013

Change Is Possible: Part II

And speaking of change...

it is nothing short of miraculous how my life has taken a quantum leap in the past nine months! Back in September, I was straddling the edge of the Vortex, staring into the black abyss, and ready to jump. Now, I am beginning to live the life I was born to live. So what exactly has changed from there to here? Let's see:
  1. First and foremost, I don't want to die; I actually want to live and look forward to it!
  2. I don't hate myself anymore. I me!
  3. My "ADD" symptoms seem to have disappeared following treatment for anxiety and depression. I can focus my mind, and the constant chit-chat and cross-talk in my head is gone. Hhhhmmmmm....I wonder...
  4. Along the lines of #3, the constant cycling of negative thoughts has abated. Not that I don't slip backwards and find myself thinking negatively, it's just that the incessant cycling of a negative thoughts, rattling around my brain over and over and over is gone.
  5. The constant static of anxiety is gone as well. No more worrying about the next crisis or wondering what people are thinking about me and how whatever it is they think surely must be negative and critical of me.
  6.  I am finally pursuing hobbies! For example, I am now a "blogger". Nine months ago I barely knew what one was; and now, as of this writing, I have created 70 posts since I started in January. 
  7. I am finally active on Facebook - active, not addicted.
  8. I am reaching out to long, lost friends and loved ones; because I now accept that they may actually like me and want to hear from me.
  9. Now this may be the most dramatic change of all: I actually enjoy watching, and rabidly follow a professional sports team! I totally blame the medication for this one - that and being fortunate enough to have a completely charming, lovable, and incredibly talented team like the Washington Nationals for whom to root!! Up until this spring, I loathed professional sports and only tolerated baseball. {Still can't stand apologies to fans out there.}
  10. I am making progress in school! I have been in college, on and off since September 1984, and I finally feel I'm in the right field and making focused progress toward a goal. For the first time ever, graduation appears in sight! And believe me, dear Blogosphere, when I finally do graduate you will know about it!!
I don't mean to brag or sound like a broken record...just having a bit of an epiphany this week. 

I do want to underscore yet again that change is possible, but you must be willing to let it happen and be willing to do the work to make it happen. Trust me, the rewards of changing your life for the better are worth it all!

1 comment:


so glad to hear the optimism in your latest blog! Keep up the good work!