Thursday, July 18, 2013


I am soooo dog tired today! My asthma flared up, and I think I have a summer cold. I want my Mommy...

In between snoozes, my fuzzy brain has been contemplating that Eleanor Roosevelt quote again: Do something that scares you everyday.

It stinks that real growth comes with a little pain; but the truth is, if growth didn't come with a price, we wouldn't cherish the rewards nearly so much.

So, what am I going to do next to exit my comfort zone and grow a little? 

What are you going to do?

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Road Trip Part II

Do one thing that scares you every day.
 - Eleanor Roosevelt                                      

Notes from the road:

Do something that scares you. Do something that scares you. Do something that...well here I am. On my way back from the conference, I'm sitting here in Cracker Barrel - alone! I don't think I've ever gone to a sit down eatery alone before - not even to a casual restaurant like this. I simply would have diedI know it may sound crazy, but the very thought of it has terrified me. 

Damn you Eleanor Roosevelt!!

Wait, I think...I think I actually enjoy this. I don't know what I was afraid of. The number of people seeing me...seeing me eat and sit alone? I don't think anyone is even noticing me. And no, I won't write in my journal the whole time; and I won't take refuge in my iPhone the whole time either, faking like I'm checking messages... 

Holy cow! I think I just saw myself. Did you ever see yourself? No, I'm not hallucinating. Did you ever encounter someone who totally resembles you?! A young "me" just came in with her husband and baby and at first! Ca-razy!!

Ah, dinner. There's something about comfort food...and there's something about being bold and dining alone! I think I'm gonna do this again!

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

PHT Hits the Road

I am sitting here in a hotel room, thunder rumbling outside and a PBS documentary on Lewis and Clark playing on the TV. I'm electrified with excitement right now. 

Yesterday, I set out on a mini-adventure. I headed first to visit my parents in Maryland, and then to Williamsburg, Virginia for an addiction counseling student workshop, where I am now, . This is my first solo trip since my hospitalization last year - and in fact, my first in quite a few years. Another small step for mankind, but a giant leap for me!  

I'm blazing my own personal expedition; and it fills me with gratitude for having been given this whole crazy experience called life. I think I'll open up the curtains, snuggle up in bed, fall asleep to the lightning show, and wake up fully refreshed in the morning.  

Ya' know, I think I'm going to have to do more mini adventures by myself - I kind of like it!

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Anxiety Again

For the first time in a very long time, I feel anxiety gnawing at me - a prickly static of constant worry about absolutely nothing. I forgot what that felt like, because the medication had been working so well. 

I have been a bit off lately with what I need to do to stay mentally healthy. Once again, my sleep schedule is out of whack; and as usual, I haven't been exercising. In addition, I haven't been taking my medication properly - e.g., taking it at 8:00 am one day, and at 11:30 am the next; and missing doses altogether. 

I know you are probably tired of hearing this, but I really, really have to get back on track.


An hour later...

Well, I did it. I exercised for the first time in two (or more?) months, but it wasn't my idea. My husband has been watching me sink backwards and rallied the troops this morning for a family bike ride to Starbucks. I'm glad now that we went, but getting me up and dressed was nothing short of an exorcism! 

The trick will be making sure I get to bed by 11:00 tonight, taking my pills on time, and exercising again tomorrow. I have to have faith that sticking to these basics will pay off in the very near future - if I can just hang in until then.