Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Anti-depression Rule #1

Did I mention in my recent post that one of the key ingredients for wellness is medication?

It seems I have forgotten this yet again. Today, I completely spaced out on taking this morning's big dose. This after having missed three nightly doses in the last week. 

By the evening, I knew something was off. I was unusually dizzy and very bitchy, bitchy, bitchy at the littlest thing! My husband pointed it out and then, only then did I remember the dose I should have taken 11 hours earlier!

Okay, Karen, press the reset and start again tomorrow!

Monday, October 28, 2013

Symptoms of Depression

So, what is it like when I'm depressed? Here are the symptoms of my depression:
  • Emotions: I usually don't cry; rather, I often find myself angry at the least provocation. Little things annoy me - society annoys me. Then, in time, I go numb - my emotions are depressed - suppressed, repressed, unexpressed. 
  • Cognition: Obviously my thoughts turn negative - especially thoughts about me and the future. These negative thoughts cycle in my head over and over and over, drilling down into my psyche. I also have more trouble than usual in remembering things. 
  • Behavior: I stay in the house as much as possible - in bed as much as possible - often watching reruns on TV.
  • Social: I isolate as much as possible. It is not a conscious thing, I just go into my cave like a hibernating bear. I avoid answering the phone, stop checking email, stop checking Facebook, and yes, even stop blogging!
  • Hobbies: I am no longer interested in things that previously interested me. 
  • Sleep: I sleep more than usual. Possibly as much as 12 - 15 hours a day. If that's not feasible, I walk around drained and exhausted in a fog. 
  • Food: I eat more sweets; and then, when fully depressed, I eat practically nothing. 
  • Grooming: I don't shower...for days. I don't care how I look and the very thought of having to go through the entire process of showering seems to me like having to run a marathon.
Though everyone is different, many other people report similar symptoms. If you or anyone you love show any of the above symptoms (or cries easily, sleeps less, or eats more), it could be depression - please seek help.

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For more information about depression, see:


Sunday, October 27, 2013

Depression...again

I'm sorry I haven't posted in almost two weeks.

I was doing so well, and then suddenly, depression crept back over me like a spider, draining me of energy, wrapping me in grey strands of hopelessness.

I can't say I'm doing well now, just doing better.

I don't understand it. I don't understand why it comes back. I'm on medication, isn't that supposed to be the cure-all?

"No", my therapist and my husband are both saying as they read this.

No, it isn't a cure-all - just a booster to enable me to do the things I need to do to stay well...the things that I haven't been doing:

  • exercise 4 - 5 times per week: aerobic, strength training, stretching, but especially aerobic;
  • consistent, healthy nutrition, metered out throughout the day in about five mini-meals that are protein/carb balanced and bolstered with veggies, fruits, lean proteins, and healthy fats;
  • 8 hours sleep each night - going to bed at the same time and waking at the same time each day;
  • prayer / meditation / gratitude daily;
  • making and keeping commitments to myself and others;
  • blogging - an outlet and hobby which I enjoy; 
  • and last, but not least, taking medication when it is due and not missing doses! (Yes, I've missed at least three doses in the past two weeks...)
These are my goals for the week then. I've got to get my self back!