GOOD night

i've been wading through the darkness for a few months now; and today, for the first time, i feel fully alive. 

what i can't control pounds like the raging surf around me. it could knock me down and drag me under, or i could ride the waves to shore. the choice is mine, and i choose life.

this does NOT mean that i'm happy about any of this! i'm just slowly learning to make the most of that which is. 

Unleash Your Soul!

This is the theme of the day!

I just awoke from a good night's sleep - full of optimism and grateful to be alive. 

I wish you, dear reader, a wonderful day / night. Let us unleash our souls...and let the games begin!!

Acceptance

I think it was Oprah that once said, forgiveness is letting go of the notion that the past can be anything other than what it is. It is not necessarily being happy or content with what happened or with what another person - or you yourself - did or said, but rather simply accepting the fact that there's nothing you can do to change the past. It is what it is.

I have experienced so many mixed emotions in recovery from depression, anxiety, and alcohol addiction: the joy of rediscovering LIFE and reconnecting with my {real} self, as well as fear of the unknown...and the feeling of loss...of being cheated...of missing out on days, months, and years.

I awoke this morning struggling with the latter - trying to accept that dysthymia, anxiety, and alcoholism are diseases of the brain and not character flaws - trying to forgive myself, the genetic cards I was dealt, and the people and circumstances that converged in my head last September in the perfect mental storm that landed me in the hospital.

But, I know...today is a new day. Today I will do my best to forgive and to accept...somehow.