Change Starts with Me

Long time, no write, I know...I know; so I thought I'd pop on for a quick update. 

Reno, Nevada, January 2020

2020 has indeed been an unusual year thus far. As tumultuous as it has been though, I think I'm actually hopeful that, as my former boss put it, "2020 will be the year of perfect vision!" 

Amidst the COVID-19 pandemic and social justice demonstrations around the country and world, my family has been in a huge state of transition as well. We just sold the house in which we've lived and raised our children for the past 21 years, and are now preparing to move all the way across the country in a week and a half. 

This upcoming relocation, coupled with spending the past few months hunkered down in quarantine, avidly following the Black Lives Matter movement, has been the catalyst for self-reflection on a very profound level.

Lake Tahoe Nevada State Park, Jan. 2020

Launched from my own recovery, Pink Hi-Top Adventures has been my ongoing tool for healing which I hoped might also help (or at least entertain) others along the way. But deeply reflecting on social justice and how I may have at times complacently accepted "the unfortunate way things are", has been energizing. I want my life, my actions, and my words to reflect that which I claim to espouse. So, as one chapter closes and another begins, I think it is a good time to revisit Pink Hi-Top Adventures. What precisely that means, I don't know yet, but I do know that I want to focus more on the "Adventures" part of wellness, living my values, social justice in mental health, and lifting others up with me along the way. 

Oh, also, I've been working on putting Pink Hi-Top Adventures on a site of its own; but this, dear friends, is a slow process, I'm afraid. I find it much easier to write than to set up a website, but stay tuned!!

World Domination Plan

Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.

 - Proverbs 10:12                                     

Silence the angry man with love. Silence the ill-natured man with kindness. 

Silence the miser with generosity. Silence the liar with truth.

- Buddha                                                 

You will never enter paradise until you have faith 

and you will not complete your faith until you love one another.

 - Muhammad                                          

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?"

Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 

'Love your neighbor as yourself."

 - Jesus of Nazareth, Matthew 22: 36-39

[At first, I thought this post might stray from the mental illness/addiction recovery theme of PHTA, but it's really doesn't. Taking back one's power IS mental wellness. It's scary and risky. Loving those that are not easy to love is also scary and risky, but both are important for claiming your strength. Venting too, especially through art (e.g., writing) is very healthy indeed.]

Roger H. Goun, 2008**

You know what? I've had it - completely had it!! I'm tired of sitting back and watching negativity and hate rip through this country like a thermonuclear bomb. I've been dwelling on this for awhile now, and I feel like a geyser about ready to blow. 

For 24 hours a day, a scandal-thirsty news media bombards us with inane, salacious, violent, and/or down right hateful stories and current events. The news comes packaged to us having been filtered through the lens of one or two perspectives alone. And these two "Eyes", if you will, focus only on one solitary point in space (in a very, very large nation, mind you) at one particular point in time, thus promoting the false impression that the entire country is chock full of the types of individuals, events, and ideas that they force-feed us daily. 

Especially lately, the "Eyes" focus steadily on the political arena. Unfortunately, however, what was once civil, political discourse and respectful, intellectual argument, has become a Super Bowl-like game, pitting one "team" against the other, brother against sister, neighbor against neighbor, American against American. The game is fueled by a flame-feeding, biased media and a blinder-wearing, ignorant political leadership. This is the sh...uh, perspective we most readily consume: us vs. them thinking. We buy into it without thought, and end up fearing and hating one another. We feel depressed about the future, disenfranchised in the present, and all alone in a precarious world shifting rapidly underfoot.

Subsequently, to forget "how bad it is", we forfeit our own lives, our own stories, and our own adventures by drowning ourselves in social media, reality TV, and other forms of schlock "entertainment". We follow the lives of banal cultural heroes who lack character and are of little consequence to human history and the advancement of humanity. 

We also attempt to fill the void inside with addictions: food, cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, sex, internet porn, etc. Even positive things like exercise, religion, studying, and sleeping can become addictive distractions if not balanced with the rest of our lives... 


but...

but, but, BUT...


the good-hearted, normal, average Joe people - we need not succumb to and be prisoners of these negative influences anymore! We have the POWER and the RESPONSIBILITY to change this nation (and world), and we can do it one person, one family, one quiet, kindly act of random LOVE at a time!

Seriously, let's do this, damn it! Let's rise up and rise above!! Let's embrace those who are different from us politically, culturally, physically, etc. Forgive them if that's what it takes. We are all human and, for the most part, each trying to do our damnedest to be decent people and make a good, secure life for ourselves and our families. Let's cut each other some slack, huh?!

No more letting our country and world skid into mediocrity, hypocrisy, alienation, and hate. This is not the Dark Ages! No more allowing ourselves to be held hostage by negative influences. NO, NO, NO! We were born to be better than that!

As I said in a post earlier this week: 

No matter what's going on 'out there', YOU STILL HAVE CONTROL over what's going on 'in here' - YOUR 'in here', that is. You have free will to choose your  behavior, even your thoughts - no matter your current situation and challenges. Use this freedom! Don't relinquish your power to other people, external situations, or the Fates. Choose your direction for yourself, damn it! 

Every individual has the freedom to choose and this adds up collectively. We have the POWER to turn ourselves around, to love, to forgive, to open our hearts. If We the People choose to do so together, we can change the course of our lives and our world. We are more responsible for our destinies than we think we are. Acting by omission (i.e., not acting) may be even more powerful than acting with volition. 

And I mean really, who are we going to let run the show here? Huh? Who?! The news and entertainment media, political parties, Kim Jong Un...the Kardashians for God's sake???

Do we really want the tone and direction of this country and world to be determined for us by default because we feed on the crap they're shoveling us?! No.

NO, NO, NO!!! 

Instead, let's change our hearts, our minds, and our behaviors. Let us truly love one another. Not just love our children or those who agree with our politics, philosophy, religion, or taste in music*, but every last, bloody one of us!

Aliens! by henskechristine, 2014***

And I don't want to hear, "I'll change when he changes" or "I can't because she makes me so...blah, blah, blah." or "I can't until [situation X] changes into [situation Y]." 

No, "yeah, yeah, yeah, BUTs" either: 

"...yeah, but he's a Republican", "...but he's a Democrat", "...but she's a Dallas Cowboys fan"."...but they're aliens...from the planet Zordon." I don't wanna hear it! It doesn't matter what the other guy does or thinks. (After all, he or she may not be as fortunate as you are to have read this blog...heh, heh, heh... ;) )

No. None of that. Just you and me acting, doing...
shaking things up!

Seriously, we can DO better. We can BE better. Our families deserve better. Our world deserves better. Future generations deserve better. Hell, YOU BLOODY WELL DESERVE BETTER!

Let's do it, damn it, do it!! By accepting and LOVING ONE ANOTHER in spite of our differences, we can collectively give the finger to the news and entertainment media, to politicians, and to other negative Nellies who say the world is "going to hell in a hand basket". 

And when we do, then we can honestly, respectfully, intelligently debate our different views, desires, and ideas, and move forward with some creative, mutually worked out win-win solution. Okay? Okay???

OKAY! :)

Thanks for listening.

P.S. - LOVE YOU!

*And believe me, the latter has not necessarily been easy for me to do! ;)


**Photo courtesy of Roger H. Goun, 2008, https://www.flickr.com/photos/sskennel/2368230257.
***Photo courtesy of henskechristine, 2014, https://www.flickr.com/photos/28698026@N05.

Getting Back

It's been a long time since I last blogged. I'm trying to get back into the swing of it, but truth be told, I'm having trouble getting back into the swing of anything lately. I've felt overwhelmed and like a deer in the headlights for the past few months, and it's really bad now. The grey ghost of depression has once again descended upon me. Since my surgery, I've had all too much time to think about past and repeated mistakes and to worry about the future.

I have an opportunity to change my trajectory, however. I can shift my thinking and make life affirming choices today. In addition, I return to work tomorrow. Getting out of the house and focusing on something outside of myself will definitely help. 

Bottom line: I'm going to regroup today, focus on gratitude, do my best each day, and try to live in the present...

...and I'm going to resume blogging. It's good therapy!

Change Is Possible

Seven and a half years ago, I found myself sitting in a room full of strangers, shoulders slumped, emptied of tears, and hollow - devastated that I would never drink again and wondering how I was ever going to do it.

On Tuesday night, I sat in the same room of strangers, only this time they were asking me how it is that they will never drink or use again. This time I was the counseling intern and not the patient.

Life is indeed a crazy adventure! So much has changed over these seven years, but none of it would be possible had I not let go of some of my false beliefs and behaviors, and trusted in the possibility of change itself.

You see, change is possible; but we must be willing to make it happen and we must be willing to let it happen. Ultimately, we must be willing to take a blind leap of faith into unknown territory and trust that the best will come of it.

Here's to the Crazy Ones!

Here’s to the crazy ones. The rebels. The troublemakers. 

The ones who see things differently. 

While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. 

Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, 

are the ones who do.- Apple Inc.

I love this quote!  

You and I have the power to change the world, because we have the power to change ourselves. We are all born with this power, and all that is required to harness it is a shift in thinking - a shift in the way we perceive ourselves, our lives, our circumstances, our problems, and each other. 

We can either see ourselves as victims, or we can see ourselves as capable and in control of our own thoughts, words, and actions.

In any circumstance, we can ask ourselves, "Is there anything I can do about this to change the situation and make it better?" If the answer is "No", we need to let it go! We cannot let things out of our control drain us of time and energy. If on the other hand there is something we can do to change a situation, then by golly...we must DO IT! Take action, watch what unfolds, learn from it, and repeat the process.

If we focus our thinking and behavior on the things we can control, we will naturally change the course of our lives as well as our collective destiny!